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I bet you think this BLOG is about you!, Alabama, United States
I'm an extroverted flame dame with a shiny nice girl exterior. Commonly Refered to as the resident Attention Whore. My main goal in life is to become famous and I'd appreciate it if you'd watch me do me....

Wednesday, October 8, 2008

Sometime I feel like a Motherless Child..

I think that the one thing i personally can't live with out is other people. Because there's a phenomenon that happens when two distinctly different entities, bodies, minds, souls, form an invisible connection of understanding. like looking at the same picture and think the same thing and knowing with out a doubt what the other is thinking. I think it is profound and it makes the experience - good or bad- a worthwhile and interesting endeavor. That said.. I'm just not getting that here. i see something everyday that makes me laugh or smile and I'm alone and i can't share the experience through blog or explanation b/c it would take a million words and still not be complete. As far as i know this is what is killing my mood.. I'm sad at all the moment that should be great for me are now Luke warm. I'm not even as excited about Thailand.. b/c without someone to share it with it's just another plane ride to see some dirt buildings and another language that i don't understand... what's a chickie to do!

I am at a low point in my stint in Korea. I think maybe i'm losing my focus. My shrink used to tell me that it's good to write down your plan so you don't lose sight of it while hashing out the path to get to it. But you know i love communicating.. talking and i felt like in America i wasn't meet ing any new people and having intellectually stimulating convos. But in korea everyone speaks awful English or Korean. Some one the foreigners here are OK.. but lots are busy and lots are not good people. So what's a chickie to do. I think maybe i should move to a big city and sign a new contract- that means breaking the current one which is not great but.. i haven't told anyone what I've been thinking. What do you think?

A great friend of mine gave me some insight recently:

I've been reading a book recently by Eckhart Tolle called A New Earth: Awakening to You Life's Purpose and one of the main messages is that everything will pass. Just give it time... and live in the present. (He has another book called The Power of Now and I was reading it while I was visiting over there.) I found this in a quote book too that's along the same lines:

I've Found Today

I've shut the door on Yesterday,
Its sorrows and mistakes;

I've locked within its gloomy walls
Past failures and heartaches.
And now I throw the key away
To seek another room,
And furnish it with hope and smiles
And every springtime bloom.
No thought shall enter this abode

That has a hint of pain,And worry, malice, or distrust
Shall never therein reign.I've shut the door on Yesterday
And thrown the key away --
The Future holds no doubt for me,
Since I have found Today.

Hope this helps...

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