Friday, August 15, 2008
WATCH OUT FOR THE SEEMINGLY NICE KOREANS IN THESE MUGSHOTS!!! THEY ARE ARMED WITH SOJU AND EXTREMLY DANGEROUS!!!!!!!!!!
I GO TO THE BAR TO SEE MY FRIEND SINGING ( SHE'S A LOUNGE SINGER). AND I AM ASSAILED BY THE OWNER OF THE BAR. HE TAKES MY PHONE .. STEALS MY NUMBER AND GIVES ME HIS BUSINESS CARD. THIS IS ALL BEFORE HE TRIES TO MAKE OUT WITH ME AGAINST MY WILL. .. AND AFTER HE AND HIS 4 GIRLY FRIENDS TRIES TO FEED ME RANDOM FISHY SNACKS. BY THE END OF AN HOUR HE HAS STOLEN MY HAT AND FELT ME UP AND DOWN.
THE ICING ON THE CAKE : HE ASKS FOR A "ONE NIGHT STAND DUH" ! AT THIS POINT I COMPLETE FLIP OUT AND DEMAND HIS HEAD ON A PLATTER AT MY SNEAKERS. ... I'M WITH A KOREAN FRIEND WHO EXPLAINS HE WAS JOKING... i'm now sure that my friend is lying and he will recieve a black eye as a lovely parting gift as soon as i catch his ass.
SO we... leave and we are followed by the touchy feely owner and his many mini minions about 3 chicks and 2 dudes. They throw me into the backseat of their car BY FORCE.. and drive away... at this point i turned into mcgyver and jumped out of a moving suv at the stop light and ran back to my friends.
I'm still not safe.. becuz they've called the bar and told them to escort myself and company to destinaton X.. so i'm being dragged drunkenly down a wet street on a rainy midnight in korea by Ajuma to .. taxi?... no... store?....no... HOTEL?... WHAT THE F*&%#!!??... no no.. NORAeBANG.
SO inside the noraebang we are forced to sing and drink and drink and drink .. upon trying to leave i was pretty my choked out onto the dancing space by the owner .. who still kept my HAT! We call for back up.. because now we can't leave and they've hidden our purses and umbrellas.
In the unisex bathroom we hide trying to think up a plan of escape.. only it's hard b/c theres a prostitute giving head to a guy using the urinal.. OMG.. So we enter separate stalls and talk to each other through the doors. The guy getting a BJ asks" excuse me.. noise down-uh" I reply with a smile " EXCUSE ME NO SEX -UH, BATHROOM SEX -UH VERY VERY BAD DUH! NO SEX-UH.." he leaves rather quickly after that.
Back up arrives in the form of the beautiful couple #2 and canada boy. His flaxen skin and golden tresses distract them long enough for us to get our stuff and bounce. WE ALSO FOUND OUT THAT WE WERE IN THE COMPANY OF A PART TIME PIMP (the bar owner) AND SOME OF HIS PROSTITUTES. HOW'S THAT FOR A NIGHT OUT ON THE TOWN. IN THE END WE GOT AWAY...a little worse for wear , our virtures a little shaken, but our heads held high.
This is a very true story and maybe you expats or future expats out there might understand me when i say:
"SOME DAYS I WAKE UP IN KOREA FEELING LIKE I AM GETTING PUNK'D!!!!!"
Wednesday, August 13, 2008
If you find your self in Korea having so much fun that you neglect your body's need for sleep, liquid other than on't worry. Because of some recent circumstances I have the inside scoop on OBGYN's of Korea. They're nice friendly and actually very high tech. You know I love you all becasue I'm sharing pictures of my innermost self! Details to follow in a later post!