A No Good Horrible Terrible Very Bad Day!

My eye keeps swelling up for no apparent reason. It's quite unattractive. Upon lookin at my face I notice it's not as bangin as it used to be. Actually looking more like death eatting a cracker . When did I stop bouncing back from all night drink a thons and zero sleep. When did my bones start popping in protest of every strenuous activity I endevors. Am i really getting old because I was supposed to be getting younger, damn it! Oh well... that's life. I just know it's time for someone to get some pampering- Punggi spa here I come!