THEY DON'T REALLY CARE ABOUT US

It feels like a sad country western song: I lost my best friend, I was descriminated against and completely let down by my co workers.

I'm in sick disbelief and awe today. It has to have been one of the worst 24 hours i've spent in korea that's including my hospital time.



My best friend had to go away suddenly. I didn't know that last night would be the last time I'd ever see her. The pain of it all is indescribable but i've been a wreck since. I didn't even have time to grieve before I was slapped in the face by my good old nemisis: PREJUDICE..



It seem that for some reason my employer likes to designate extercurricular community tasks to my fellow co workers.. all who happen to not be black. To be fair lets' do the math: there are 8 teachers total, 2 teacher are considered aids ,1 teacher is part time .. that leaves only 5 teachers that are available to do any other sidework- english festivals and etc. Of those 5 teacher only my myself and my best friend court b are black.



There has been exactly 5 occasions ( maybe more b/c no on tells me) where some or all of these teachers have been asked secretly to participate in an event and then specified not to mention to any other tecahers. This is done intentionally supposedly so the left out tecahers won't feel bad. WHO ARE THEY FOOLING: there are only 2 teachers left out everytime! AND we have ears and we heard them proposition you b/c we are all in the same damn room. What's more.. it only serves to rub in the discomfort and bad feeling of ill will by purposefully being deceptive.



I'm livid at this point because A: someone up there thinks I'm not good enough to be in the public eye( wonder why) and B: the other teachers actually went along with this. I'm only 25and i'm the youngest person in the office and i had suggest to grown ass people that when someone tells you to do something that is immoral.. you save your pride and tell them to go fuck themselves. These are people I worked with, cared about, struggled to understand and they all just sat there with guilty faces but with rambling words that didn't explain why they dropped the ball ;and all the while acted as if we were being UNREASONABLE by pointing out all these facts for everyone.



SO the current bitch session in question is about a English festival that both of us weren't even told about HOWEVER they do need us to work extra classes that day because the teacher who are better or more special than you must be gone to an assignment that we wanted to hide from you. Folks one of the teachers actually backed out and didn't want to participate.. KNOW WHAT- We 2 other teachers are not even the alternative. They got another teacher from a whole other school across town to take that teacher's place and guess what hunny.....



After I explain my thoughts about this situation i was meet with a half ass-ed apology that merely blamed the occurrence on our Principal's assistant. The witch hunt continues b'cuz I'm talking to his ass tomorrow. I even received a personal; apology email that wasn't to my satisfaction. I see now that I'm not going to be satisfied until everyone knows every thing that happened and exactly how i feel about it all.. and then I'm gonna need better answers then what these gum shoes are kicking up.



I can't believe I travelled 7,300 miles across land ocean and sea to be discriminated against by a Korean employer who wanted me here so i can teach little Korean children how to be an AMERICAN. fuck me I can be discriminated against at home where i can drive up to a McDonald's afterwards and shake off whatever hater was upon me with some hot fries and some chicken nuggets.