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I bet you think this BLOG is about you!, Alabama, United States
I'm an extroverted flame dame with a shiny nice girl exterior. Commonly Refered to as the resident Attention Whore. My main goal in life is to become famous and I'd appreciate it if you'd watch me do me....

Wednesday, October 15, 2008

Some people are PISS POOR MORALLY...

SO.. it's day two.. and i'm still angry at the world and PMS doesn't help. I feel like i need to write now when i am upset becasue i'm sure in time everything will work out. Either things will change or I will leave and I won't be as expressive. But if you are reading this out there and you are seriously considering being a traveling teacher I feel it's my duty to let you know the extent of my strife. Know that no feeli lasts forever.. I'm feeling better than the day before but at least now you won't get obver here think that everything is peachy keen. This country has got it's own problems just like yours does. I'm trying to be sympatheic to the fact that 60% of my stress comes from being shocked b/c of the way things are done. But that's just it.. that's the way things are done here!!! it can't be changed in a day or in the year that i'm here.. but the more expats that come and endure changes the dynamic for those to follow. I'm sure the people who were here before me had some hell. Korea will pledge the hell fire from you and never ever let you cross.

Concerning the recent situation. I've decided that though i can't make anyone change how the run their office and though i can't make the other teachers stop going along with our employers childish antics ( maybe they are worried about job security). I CAN NOT BE SILENT. I WON"T JUST LET IT HAPPEN without saying something to let everyone in on what my pliht looks like. And maybe that will compell them.. but if not... it'll still make me feel like i accomplished something.

I recieved some apologies and so has my friend. However the office space vibe is in shambles. I duno how to act.. but I can't pretend that i am happy when I'm not. Tommarrow I plan to talk about the issue at our much needed staff meeting. I'm no longer so angry or hurt I just want to find closure and get on with my work. Cuz God knows I love my children. They are the reason why I am here. The appreciate me and they understand so much more than I ever realized. They can tell when i'm unhappy and they care. They reflect my mood and for them I want to be nothing but smiles and sunshine. I refuse to be depressed b/c i'm not dead yet so chances are.. i just got a lil stronger.

I did have to attend a going away celebration for on of the teachers. I'm going to miss him. However i certainly wasdn't in the mood for entertaining our administration. First dinner with uncomfortable conversation because i'm really someone who hates avoiding the obvious conversations that need to take place. At one point i think i heard 2 admins talking about the reason behind my sour mood. Reason being that i hate being treated like a token negro. As the nigt wore on we were forced into norabang to sing. I honest almost cried at one point becuz there's no place i wanted to be less! I'm cramping like hell, singing the special song that my friend always sang for me, which eerily happened to be appropiate for the situation and my mood, and missing home and missing my home girl. I know everything happens for a reason.. so i'm justing trying to figure out what that is. What i need to change, what mistakes am i making .

I plan to start looking for an english speaking church somewhere near by. I've been lax in doing so for 4 months. i'm resourceful for finding everything else i want .. i need to get in that to!

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