LOVE IS A LOSING GAME

I need some advice... I’d love some input. I would describe myself as a deep thinker. At times I’ve been told that I think too much. I over analyze the hell out of anything and everything until I can find an answer that is firstly true, secondly explanatory, and lastly profound. It’s how I roll. The issue in question: the A-typical dating habits of Asian men. An by A typical I mean out and out freaking strange sometimes; completely alien. I had a friend who dated an Asian man for a year and had to deal all sorts of issues that typically American women usually don’t encounter. At first I though it comic, then absurd, and now after being Punked on each of the 78 days I’ve been in Korea over some crazy Korean way of doing things; I’m a believer. Why did I ever doubt? In my hazy American denial of all things un-American, I failed to realize that a guys M.O. might vary culture to culture. I know it’s a simple concept with a fallacy. But I thought to myself... “all things with penis’s think alike”. How wrong was I!?!?

So I have read article after article on the subject and even braved a few personal questions to my Korean guy and girl friends, and acquaintances. Even though I know all of this information is just generalizations and ARE NOT TRUE FOR ALL KOREAN MEN. I needed someone somewhere to clue me in a bit.

When it comes to Korean Men:"Bottom-line- expect to take the lead at every point in the relationship, but don't ever be so bold as to ask, request or demand."

“Also do not show him you care at all. Do not tell him you like love, any emotion nothing. Because.. they start to trip when u do. They are supposed to be the one that do all that.”

“They are big on how people look instead of what kind of person you are. They are really full of it. So treat his ass the way he treats you. “

“Korean men the other hand are conservative and insecure. They don’t usually want a liberated woman as westerners would perceive it. What they want is a woman willing to work as a full-time mother (full-time by Korean standards would be triple-time by western standards).”

“Korean men work ungodly hours, stay up late with their coworkers drinking (it’s sometimes mandatory to drink with your boss) and so come home drunk and exhausted. They work Saturdays and sometimes Sundays. Korean between the ages of 30 and 50 are not usually much fun. They wait until retirement for that.”

No wonder old guys like me!

"There will be no men in your life for one year – get used to it."
[So what options does that leave foreign women? If one night stands aren’t exactly your cup of tea; there’s always an option – Korean men. That is, of course, if you can find a Korean man who a) speaks English, b) isn’t afraid of you, or c) isn’t dating you because he thinks you look like a celebrity. This task is not as easy as it sounds. ...


If you happen to find an eligible Korean man, you then have to put up with the negative reactions from not only the Korean community, but from the foreign community as well. If the relationship remains casual then the whole thing can be pretty cool. Of course, god help him if the family ever found out. But Korean men can also be deceiving. Many foreign women delude themselves into thinking that Korean men are all innocence and naiveté. But that would be a big mistake – Korean men play their own dating games, we just don’t understand the rules...


But if you can have a few laughs and a good time, nobody gets hurt. Unfortunately, the relationships often go much further than that and it is the foreign woman that ends up with the broken heart. Dating a Korean man is a great way to understand the culture, and to understand that you will never be a part of it. While it is also difficult for foreign men dating Korean women to be accepted into Korean society – it is next to impossible for foreign women to achieve acceptance. Regardless of whom you date. If you thought dating was difficult back home, you’ll soon discover its hell in Korea. ]